


Don't fucking do that.

by anneapocalypse



Series: Flaws [4]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gap Filler, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 14:32:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10664631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anneapocalypse/pseuds/anneapocalypse
Summary: I don’t want you to blame yourself, C. No matter what happens. Seriously. I know how you get with that. Don’t fucking do that.Set shortly after the end of season 13. Spoilers for season 15, though mostly just speculation. No FIRST spoilers.





	Don't fucking do that.

_I don’t want you to blame yourself, C. No matter what happens. Seriously. I know how you get with that. Don’t fucking do that._

 

Carolina makes it three days. Three days she doesn’t say it. Three long days. She deserves something for that, she thinks. A gold star. She should make herself one.

“It’s my fault,” she says. Hardly says. More mutters into her first cup of coffee in the mess. In fairness to herself, she has a lot less filter before she’s had her coffee, and it hasn’t been a good night.

“Carolina,” Wash says, instantly exasperated. She knows that tone. It’s been a rough few days. Everyone’s on edge. What should’ve been a miraculous victory, marred by the _Staff of Charon_ ’s sudden jump out of the system with the Reds and Blues still aboard. By Church’s goodbye message. By the total radio silence in the days since. 

Even the Chorusans are in rough shape, not knowing whether to celebrate or gear for bear, not knowing what the ship’s jump away could mean. What it might bring back. What’s become of their heroes. It’s tough to be patient. With the situation. With each other.

“I should never have sent them to the Temple alone,” she says, gritting her teeth through another swallow of bitter black coffee.

“They weren’t alone, Carolina. They’re never alone.”

“You know what I mean.”

Wash sighs, unseals his helmet and takes it off, setting it on the table beside his breakfast tray with a pointed clunk. That gets her attention. He’s got helmet hair already and the circles under his eyes say he hasn’t slept well either, if at all. His steely eyes bore into hers with that unnerving intensity and she feels the urge to look away, though she doesn’t. “If it’s your fault then it’s mine too.”

“I’m not blaming you. That’s not what I—”

“No. That’s my point. You’re not blaming me, and you should be, if you’re blaming yourself. We were both there, we both let them go. We’re both responsible.”

“Wash—”

“But you’re not blaming us. You’re blaming _you_ , which means you’re not doing it because it makes sense, you’re doing it because you need someone to blame, and you’re the easiest target.”

Carolina snorts, looking away and reaching back to untie and re-tie her hair. Something to make her hands do. “Don’t psychoanalyze me, Wash. I get enough of that from Dr. Grey, trust me.”

Wash sits back in his chair and crosses his arms over his chest, cocking an eyebrow at her. “And she’d tell you the same thing, and you know it.”

“You have the same conversation with her?” Carolina says dryly, fighting a smile in spite of herself.

Wash shrugs, but cracks a tired smile too. “Not precisely the same one, no.”

“Figures.”

“I’m not telling you not to worry,” Wash says. He lets out a short, sharp breath and leans forward again, dragging a hand roughly down his face before leaning on his elbow. “I’m worried, too. You know that. I’m glad that—I’m glad you care.”

“I do,” she says, staring into the dark depths of her coffee mug because she can’t look at him right now, she can’t, and she feels a little bit like she’s choking but she takes a deep breath and manages to force the rest of the words out. “You know I do.”

“I know. But you haven’t known them as long as I have. You’ve known them long enough to care that they make it back.”

Carolina swallows.

Wash looks up again, and something in his eyes has softened, just a little. Maybe. “I’ve known them longer. I’ve known them long enough to know they will.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [the quiet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13198227) by [tuckerfuckingdidit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuckerfuckingdidit/pseuds/tuckerfuckingdidit)




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